For the Beauty of the Earth

Braces are scary things.

I watched Little Women tonight, and of course cried for too long of a time when Beth died, as I always do. I don't like crying in public and feeling vulnerable, but I also feel stupid when I'm by myself and crying. All I need to do is rent The Killing Fields and get some guacamole and I've got myself a par-tay. 10 bucks to whoever can name where that line's from.

Back to the movie. I love the scene after her death when Jo is putting Beth's things away in her chest in the attic. When Jo opens it and sees all the things Beth had saved she is touched and handles each piece as if it were priceless. When I went home for Thanksgiving, I ran into Georgia at church and she said she had found a journal of mine and Katie's. I swung by the Ockerman household before I left town to pick it up, and couldn't help but laugh when I saw it. The cover of the spiral is plastered with cut-outs from magazines. Pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt and Devon Sawa...of sunflowers and make-up...our names compiled from different colored and shaped letters. It is from the summer of '96 at Camp Metro, and my first entry starts like this: "Dear Katie, Wuz up?" (except the 'up' was an actual arrow up) "Me not much, just chillin' on my bunk." Oh, to be 11 again. Wait a minute...nevermind. It's always amazing to look back and see where and what I used to be compared with where and what I am now. It's also heartbreaking.

On the back of one of the pages has a Sarah + Katie = BFFAE. Priceless.

Jo at first wrote adventure and thriller stories, but nothing from her heart. After everything, she felt compelled to write what she knew. I've never been able to keep a diary or journal or whatever, but more and more I feel compelled to write what I know or would like to know. Now all I need is a good-looking German professor to come along, and I'll call it a day.