There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.

I'm heartbroken. I had wanted so badly for "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" to be a success, having worshipped Aaron Sorkin ever since my dad and I spent two days watching a marathon of season one of "The West Wing" on Bravo a few Thanksgivings ago. I tear up at every "WW" episode in its first two seasons, and would vote for Bartlett in a second, if only he were real. I wanted "Studio 60" to be just as grand, but it's just not working.

Now, word has it that a cancellation is near for the bloated drama-with-comedic-bits-that-aren't-funny. Three more episodes have been ordered, but that may just been contractual. How ironic that a show about a network fighting against the general suckiness of TV and calling viewers to a higher level of standard isn't working, and will get the ax from its real network that its show within a show isn't. "Studio's" fake show's ratings are soaring, but for no reason. "Studio's" ratings are plummeting, for all the right reasons. Perhaps this proves that Sorkin's idealistic venture is too out of base with reality; neither the show or the show within a show are great, but for some reason, he can't see that. Unfortunately for him, everyone else can. At least we'll have the DVDs.

Update! West Texans not only retarded, but unethical.

It appears the video of the 5-year-old in the toy machine may have been staged. The cameraman from a local news station claims he arrived at the scene after they'd unlocked the machine but before they took the boy out. The worker from the machine company and the boy's mother say that the boy was already out, and when the cameraman arrived, he asked them to put the boy back in. Read the whole story.

The public should be informed when images or sounds are re-enacted, according to the code of ethics for the Radio-Television News Directors Association and Foundation.
The National News Service, which distributes video to member TV stations, has not pulled the video of Joshua. An employee said discussion with Vodak (news director for local TV station) confirmed that the video was not staged.
ABC NewsOne, a news service for ABC affiliates, did pull the video from its news server and alerted its clients after a "Good Morning America" producer called Joshua's mother and was told the video was staged.
"We don't stage anything," said Jeffrey Schneider, a senior vice president at ABC News. "It's completely against our ethics."

Awesome awesome awesome.

West Texans: Yes, we're that retarded.

Oh, making national news is fun.

First up: A wedding announcement in the San Angelo newspaper made David Letterman:




AND secondly: A five-year-old crawled into a crane-operated toy vending machine at the Spaghetti Warehouse in the mall. He was in there for about 45 minutes while the restaurant called a worker from the machine manufacturer to come unlock the machine. Watch the video of every kid's dream.


Now, I went to Spaghetti Warehouse yesterday with a reporter to see how he got in the machine. The flap opening to collect prizes was big enough to crawl through, and there was an alcove that he could have crawled under, leaving enough room for the flap door to close. But how the crap he climbed up into the top part is beyond me, the plastic guarding the toys being way above his head. He must have shimmied up there like a spider monkey.

Interestingly, this story aired locally Monday and was picked up by various NBC affiliates and made Keith Olbermann's oddball countdown. When did the paper learn about it? Wednesday. It was the top story on the front page for Thursday. Awesome.

I eat a lot of candy corn this time of year. That can't be good.

It's always refreshing when critics agree with you:

It's tempting to watch a show like this the way I watched The West Wing. While I was always held by the drama, there was still an undercurrent of wish fulfillment. Josiah Bartlet was the kind of man you wanted to be leading the country, even if you know it would never happen. When Adama sees that he's facing a total of four basestars and not the two he planned on, and that his FTL drive is busted, and that he's staring death in the face, he sets his jaw. That's the kind of leader we all wish we had in our lives, somewhere. Either at work, or at home, or in ourselves.

Daniel has said it a million times, and I'll say it here: "Battlestar Galactica" is one of the best shows on TV. If you refuse to watch it based on its name and what other incorrect assumptions you have, you're lame. Case closed.

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Only the "Lost" producers would introduce new characters on a show set on a freaking desert island. What, we just didn't notice them before? They were always in the back? Or if the action was at the beach, they were in the cave? Or vice versa? And what's with Locke working on a pot farm and talking with Boone (may he rest in peace) in the sweat tent? What's happening???

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When I was in Wal-Mart yesterday, I noticed familiar, yet somehow changed, song blaring from the giant row of TVs next to me. I couldn't believe it: Meatloaf remade "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)," a movie that will forever play out in my head as it did on Pop Up Video so many years ago. While seeing Meatloaf -- in all his sweaty, man-boob glory -- in "Fight Club" forever changed my view of him, this somehow brings him back to where he belongs in my head. What isn't awesome about that song? It's horrible. Horribly awesome.

I'm tired of the Midterms already

To me, the choosing between Mel Hailey and Susan King for the District 71 state representative race is a no-brainer. Just take a look at their respective answers to the question 'Why are you the best candidate for the District 71 seat in the Texas House?'

Susan King:
"If elected, I will to continue the commitment of Dr. Hunter to our children, our community, and our conservative values. My candidacy is endorsed by US Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, the Texas Farm Bureau, the NRA, the Texas State Teachers Association, the Texas Nurses Association, and others. My three children have all graduated from local public schools and my husband is a local doctor and has been an Adjunct Professor at ACU for more than 20 years. In addition to being a working nurse, my husband and I also operate a local ranch. As past president of the school board I understand how important our local schools and universities are to our local economy. I am a conservative and support personal freedoms, less government, private property rights, cutting taxes, creating local jobs, and I am opposed to abortion except in the cases of rape, incest and danger to the mother'’s life."

Mel Hailey:
"I still believe that government can be used for good. Government is not the answer to every problem, but it can be a partner in solving problems and enhancing our common life together without becoming our nanny. I have served on the boards of the Noah Project, Meals on Wheels and Habitat for Humanity -- I know what good can come with private initiative and government help.
"I believe it's time to restore civility and problem solving to the legislative process. We have had too much bickering in Austin. As Harry Truman once said, 'It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.'
"My friends and colleagues have honored me on many occasions by electing me to numerous leadership positions in community and professional organizations. They tell me that I am a consensus builder, and a leader who also listens.
"I am prepared for the job."

Our country - on the state and national levels - needs moderates, those willing to compromise and not rush to vote party line no matter their personal beliefs. When someone's telling me why they are the best candidate, I don't want a rundown of their resume and a reminder they're trying to ride Bob Hunter's coattails. (King's 40 Point Plan for Taylor County - which she incorrectly doesn't hyphenate - lists her No. 1 objective as "Regularly seek input from Dr. Bob Hunter." No. 24: "Oppose abusive & frivolous lawsuits." What does that even mean?)

I want an honest answer, an answer from someone who realizes the painstaking minutiae of the legislating process, all the boring glories parliamentary procedure and the need for patience, humility and levelheadedness. That's why I'm voting for Mel. I just wish more people thought voting for him was a no-brainer as well.

The Week in Review

My parents visited last weekend. They brought our dog, Rusty, and he kept them up the first night and me the second. I've never before sat on my bed, awake, at 3 a.m., rubbing my head with my hands and pleading with a small, furry animal to just be quiet. If that is what having children is like, count me out.

They bought me a screen door. I put in a maintenance request to have it installed, and when I came home at 8:30 p.m. last Wednesday, I noticed they had installed the door -- and left it and the sliding glass door open. At 8:30. My apartment was wide open. Really couldn't comprehend how a maintenance person could go to the trouble of locking the front door on his way out while forgetting to shut the side door in the first place. I spoke with the manager. I couldn't bring myself to yell, though. She was just too nice.

Malinda came up for Homecoming. We made it to the parade after stopping at Starbucks to fuel up, and I felt fairly old seeing the new pledges waste way too much time and energy on a float that only a few hundred people saw and that would be demolished only a few hours later. We also made it to the musical. The wonderful Dee had a great review (because the current Optimist arts editor doesn't do reviews???), and he was right about its self-indulgent ending. Our sixth row, dead-center seats couldn't be beat, though. Good seeing English and Taylor and others.


We took pictures on campus with the new scary statues, the cost for which probably could have helped a disadvantaged student out with tuition, meal plans, etc. Oh, dear Christian college. What will you think of next?


Back to work Monday. There were too many mistakes in Sunday's newspaper for our editor, so she implemented a new policy: At the end of each story will be a note saying who edited the story, wrote the headline, etc. It's rather tedious, especially because more than one person looks at a story and several people can tweak a headline, subhead, what have you. We thought about going as far as to say "Tonight's Lotto numbers were looked up online by Jeff, which took all of five seconds," but refrained. My co-workers and I think saying "This story was edited by Sarah" is boring. Some suggested notes:

* This story gave Sarah a headache, but she edited it anyway.
* This story was practically rewritten by Sarah, so much so that she deserves a byline credit.
* This story was the final straw for Sarah, who promptly quit after editing it.
* This story caused Sarah to gouge her eyes out with her pencil, making it the last thing she ever read. We hope it changed your life -- it sure changed hers.

I'll leave you with an interesting article on my current obsession:

"Language has always been important in politics, but language is incredibly important to the present political struggle," Colbert says. "Because if you can establish an atmosphere in which information doesn't mean anything, then there is no objective reality. The first show we did, a year ago, was our thesis statement: What you wish to be true is all that matters, regardless of the facts. Of course, at the time, we thought we were being farcical."

Sarah Does Stupid Things, Part II

The summer after freshman year, I worked for family friends as a clerk in their home offices. Thom and Jana are each realtors and also own their own property management company. I'd file property files away, organize things and occasionally go out to properties to do a 'walk-through,' examining the condition of the properties, what needed fixing, cleaning, etc.

One day, I went to do a walk-through in a residential neighborhood I've never been to before. I pulled in front of the house and went up to the front door, key in hand. But, the key didn't work. I tried for a bit, then went and walked around to the side of the house to see if there was another way in. I called Jana and she first asked if I had the right house. I'm pretty sure I said 'yes.' Then she said to just try the front door again.

I went back and continued to try and open the door with the key, jiggling the handle and peering through the dark-stained glass on the door. I walked back to the car and looked at the address again (there it is). Yeah, I was at the wrong house.

I'm about to get into the car, when an older man opens the door of the impenetrable house and calls after me. "Hey there, just what do you think you're doing?" At this point, I'm pretty scared. I try to tell him that it was a mistake, I work for a realtor and I had the wrong house. He then tells me to stay where I am because he called the police. My walking around the house on a cell phone and jiggling the door handle freaked him out. He thought I was trying to break in and was calling for backup. He also told me that he had a gun and that I was lucky he didn't shoot me.

So, I waited by my car (which was actually Jana's car she was letting me drive). The cop came and questioned me, and because it wasn't my car, I think he had to look up Jana's insurance. Fortunately for me, I didn't look like someone who was trying to break in, and the look of panic plastered on my face was convincing. The old guy wouldn't let up, reminding me that I could have been shot dead had he not hesitated and waited for the cops. "Um, well, thanks for not shooting me."

They let me go. I drove away terrified, found the right house and ran inside. This time to key worked. I didn't tell Thom and Jana what happened, just that it was the wrong house.

Lesson learned: You never know who has a gun stashed away in their house, ready to use it on any 19-year-old, 5' 4" girl who comes too close for comfort.

Really interesting read from Bob Woodward for The Washington Post on the fake/delusional optimism of the Bush White House. It deals with Henry Kissinger being a top adviser for Bush, which Colbert so eloquently discussed Tuesday for day's Word, "experience."

Also interesting: Fox News has "accidentally" labeled disgraced former representative Mark Foley (R-Fla.) as a democrat - three times, at least. Some accident. Watch here and here .

Sarah Does Stupid Things, Part I

Yesterday, after I had a fairly exasperating experience doing laundry at my apartment complex (If the 'in use' light is on, don't open up the dryer door, then close it and not turn the 'on' button again. My clothes will stay wet. That's just rude.), I went out on my patio to measure my sliding glass door for a screen door.

I accidentally shut the door the entire way, and watched as a bar fell down, holding the door shut, with me on the outside. I could see into my apartment, right at my front door, which was locked twice, with the deadbolt thrown from the inside. I thought about how my windows were all locked. I turned around and saw that the patio railing, heavy and wooden, was about as tall as my head. For a few seconds, I contemplated what yelling 'help' would accomplish. Then, I moved my butterfly chair over to the railing, managed to get my bare foot through a hole and onto a staircase next to the railing, and hoisted myself up and over.

I knocked on my neighbor's door. I'd never spoken to her before, but Lauren was quite friendly and invited me in. She and her friend, Courtney, both about my age, were watching "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" and relaxing. Lauren didn't have a phone book, so she called her mom and had her look up the number to the apartment complex. Once I called the emergency maintenance number, the man on call informed me that he couldn't help me because there was no way of proving my name was on the lease, or something like that.

Courtney called someone and he began looking up numbers for locksmiths. None could help me. Lauren has two cats. They kept sniffing my feet and their noses were cold. I called my aunt's house, just to update them on the situation and that I was thinking of breaking a window. My aunt's husband answered. He wasn't helpful.

Eventually, we went outside and examined the windows, wondering how bad it would be to break one. I had just called the maintenance guy back, saying that if I broke a window, there was no way I'd pay for it because he wouldn't come help me. He said he'd call the manager. Lauren said she had a screwdriver.

Then I remembered: I had had my windows open about a week ago, and noticed that my bedroom window's latches aren't great. So, I went around to the front with the screwdriver, climbed into the bushes and popped the screen off the window. I then proceeded to jimmy the window open. (Which is cause for concern. If I can break into my apartment that quickly...) We all laughed. It had been about 30 minutes since the fiasco began. I just said goodbye to the girls and climbed in. Then I went to my computer and told my brother what happened on AIM.

I called my aunt's husband back to tell him I'd made it in. He didn't seem to care. I could have been eaten by rabid dogs roaming the Big Country in search of stupid people, and it would have been on his head. Ah well.

So that's my latest stupid story. I will continue to bring you, faithful readers, more parts to the ongoing series, Sarah Does Stupid Things. Thanks for being my friend.