Obama '08

Illinois Senator Barack Obama is my new favorite person. You should read his speech from Sojourers' Call to Renewal conference about religion and politics. It's long, but worth reading regardless. It's excellent, and one of the most intelligent discussions on religion by a politician I've ever read.

OK, this has got to be Photoshopped. This magazine cover is reported to have been taken a week ago, but the scary picture of her being interviewed by Matt Lauer was like three weeks ago. I guess she finally paid for a stylist, but there's no way they didn't airbrush some weight off of her arms, chin and thighs. I am not fooled, Britney. NOT FOOLED.

my life is brilliant.

Hooray for parodies. You should watch these parodies of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful." Weird Al is at it again; a case of mistaken identity; and my favorite, an ode to the cubicle. I relate to those lyrics now all too well.

Oh, how the mighty do fall

This is one of the saddest, yet oddly vindicating, things I've seen in a while. This is Mrs. K-Fed at her recent "Dateline" interview with Matt Lauer. How did she get to this pitiful level of skankiness so quickly? Is it because she's pregnant? If she got worse after pregnancy, what's going to happen to average-looking women once they have kids? Either this doesn't bode well for the rest of us, or it just demonstrates that money can't buy style, or more importantly, class.

As one Washington Post writer wrote: Spears fidgeted, blathered and wept through the interview last week and one couldn't help but gape in amazement at her astonishing aesthetic meltdown. It's hard to recall the last time someone as famous as Spears -- without any accompanying substance-abuse rumors -- appeared so startlingly, slovenly wretched. The pop singer's golden glow of stardom had been dimming, but this was the moment when it dropped below the horizon.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

Catching up on my morning reading:

The damage done to U.S. honor and prestige around the world, and to America's ability to mobilize support for the fight against Islamic extremism, far outweighed any intelligence gathered.

The point here isn't to go all bleeding-heart over three men who may well have been the type who gleefully slaughter innocents in the name of a warped religiousness. The point is that when our government mocks transparency and tries to conduct this war of ideas in the shadows, away from prying eyes, we defeat ourselves.

And of course, on the subject of the Devil incarnate:

Her toxicity is more about salesmanship than citizenship, more high-decibel attention whoring than true ideology. The problem is, a public that would make Coulter's "Godless: The Church of Liberalism" the top-selling book in the country (it was still holding steady at No. 2 on Amazon.com as of Friday) can't differentiate between the pontificating preacher and the profiteering promoter.

Beelzebub even says so herself, on her Web site:

The establishment's current obsession with me is the mainstream media's last stand. They've deployed the whole lineup of yesterday's power brokers against me, and all they've accomplished is to make my book the No. 1 book in the country. In other words, their efforts to defeat me have just created more people like me. Now who's stuck in an unwinnable quagmire, losers?

I must caution you, though, that visiting her sight could lower your IQ, produce cold sweats and blurred vision, and force you call on all that is holy to make the harsh, hissing sounds in your ears subside. Say 10 Hail Marys, take a shot of tequila, hug someone and watch The Daily Show to redeem yourself.

Prettiest town I've ever seen

(OK, so that movie was set in Abilene, Kansas, but it's still cool).

Top Reasons to live in Abilene, Texas:
20. It's the "Friendly Frontier!"
19. You get to explain to outsiders what the "Big Country" is.
18. We've got more churches per capita than any other U.S. city.
17. You can't go anywhere without seeing someone from ACU, and/or an ACU car decal.
16. The Mall of Abilene now has a Chucky Cheese (with a bar for the disillusioned parents).
15. The college football games are held at the high school football stadium. Convenient.
14. With three universities in town, who needs student movie ticket prices? Not us!
13. The sculptures along N 1st, including a giant cow skull.
12. Hey, David Copperfield came here. That puts us on the map, for sure.
11. The best entertainment in town is provided by a local university's theatre department.
10. For all the creepy bars and clubs located on that sketchy street, Industrial Blvd.
9. Cruising Sayles and S 1st on a Saturday night, using Sonic as the turnaround mark.
8. George Hamilton IV wrote a song about it! (It better not be about Kansas. Kansas sucks.)
7. You can contract syphilis at the Westwood Twin Theatre.
6. We're in a D-level movie market, so if a movie does come here, it will only be at one theatre. Heck, let's just stay home and watch "Let's Make a Deal."
5. Randall "Tex" Cobb was born here and went to ACU, until he was expelled for shooting a flaming arrow off the roof of Mabee Hall.
4. Even more famous people are from here.
3. Downtown shuts down by 8 p.m., and most streetlights start blinking by 10 p.m.ish.
2. The male prostitute, with daisy dukes and knee-high white tube socks, who cruises Sayles and S 1st (It's a popular thing to do).

And, the number one reason to live in Abilene:
1. To work at "a place" that pays you way too much money to sit around and write lists like this on your blog.

This is the scenic downtown view from outside of the office, which is on the right off camera. Ah...the good life.

Single in the City

One month ago, I was a college student, who happened to not have a boyfriend.

Now, I'm 'single.' A young, single adult. Filing my tax returns as a single person, signing up for insurance as a single person, and - what I dread most - attending church as a single person.

Before this morning, I had only attended church by myself one other time. I sat in the back that Sunday morning Freshman year, felt horrible and left immediately after the service concluded. Today was better, though, yet still not pleasant. For some reason, churches - which should be the most inviting and comfortable of places - can make someone feel incredibly isolated. Looking around at all the couples and families, us singletons in the back rows just try to blend into the pews.

But wait - How did I get here? A month ago, I was pulling all-nighters, writing crappy papers and staying up talking with my roommate. Now, I have to call the electric company in the morning, have had conversations with HR reps about 401(k)s and stock options and signed up for Accidental Death & Dismemberment insurance ($100,000 is going to you guys, Dad and Daniel. You're welcome). As only a few weeks shy of that age when the grey starts to show - 22, I probably should hesitate from using the word 'singletons,' a la Bridget Jones. I've got a good 10+ years before I achieve her level of insanity. I promise I won't have cats. I would like Colin Firth, though.

Bible Class afterwards went much better, sitting next to someone who graduated a year ahead of me who's also braving the single yet employed life in Abilene, the Mecca of Western Civilization. Afterwards, I ran into my sophomore year roommate's parents, had a good chat, then continued out the door, to the car, then back home.

I didn't die, so that was good. Tomorrow, I'll head back to the office, working alongside people in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and probably 60's who are single. I think I picked the wrong profession. Or maybe I attended too many summer camps and disturbing youth retreats in my earlier years, making me think it's now or never to find happiness. They really shouldn't teach that to the impressionable youth of the world. They should tell us that we should take time to have fun, embark on adventures and whatnot. Like moving to Los Angeles. Or to New Zealand. Or better yet: Abilene.

I guess I'll have to reeducate myself.

Thanks, Dr. Mann

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.
Take this quiz!








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On the strip the kids get lit so they can have a real good time/Come Sunday they can just take their pick from the crucifix skyline

On my way home from work Saturday, I stopped by the Sonic on N 1st to get a snack. There I sat, in a striped Oxford shirt and hoodie, waiting for my Coke and mozzarella sticks to arrive, and was bewildered by surroundings.

Apparently, the N 1st Sonic on a Saturday night in Abilene, Texas, is a stop on the small-town cruise circuit. Countless cars were circling the building, most filled with teenagers or small-town folk who've given up on life and/or ever leaving A-Town. One girl - let's call her Tiffany - was walking around to various cars (I guess the cruisers aren't strangers), flirting with pimply faced, Hollister-wearing hot shots. Two of them in the truck next to me wanted to get out, but couldn't because they had pulled up too far. So Tiffany, in her mini bluejean shirt, cowboy boots, tank top and no underwear, exerted herself to push the truck backwards so the boys could jump out.

Now, I just wanted my mozzarella sticks. They're so yummy, especially with marinara sauce. So, I wasn't enjoying watching Tiffany run around and wave at people. I also wasn't enjoying the dizzying effect the cars whipping around the building were having on me. Watching the Abilenians at the fast-food place made me self-conscious, though, looking down at the clothes I wore to work and wondering what these people do or will do for a living. Is a career in store for them? Or will they end up working the graveyard shift at Allsups?

The waitress came out and seemed to think that Tiffany pushing the car was funny. I couldn't really speak at this point. I was so confused as to why people were driving around Sonic for the Hell of it on a Saturday night that I just looked at her, took my food and mumbled a thanks. It took a while for me to back out because the heavy stream of cars entering, with their drivers just dying to see who they know at Sonic, wouldn't let up.

I managed to escape and made it home. This is my home, now. Maybe I should have rolled down my window to talk to Tiffany. I could use some more friends. Then again, maybe not.