You know it's bad ...

... when you write your obituary for fun during computer-system training at work. We were writing fake stories to learn the system, and this is what I came up with. I have issues.


Copy editor dies of boredom

Medical experts baffled, impressed


Abilene Reporter-News copy editor Sarah Carlson died Tuesday of excessive boredom. Co-workers found her slumped over at her desk at 9:43 p.m. and called 9-1-1, but the mundane task of editing the paper's Sunday Life section had already taken its toll. She was 22.

"We are shocked and saddened at the sudden loss of such a valuable employee," said editor Barton Cromeens on Tuesday. "We're offering free counseling sessions for all employees who are attempting to deal with this tragedy while continuing to produce our award-winning newspaper.

Carlson graduated from Abilene Christian University in May 2006 with a degree in journalism and mass communication. She had dreams of becoming a Pulitzer-prize winning reporter and the ruler of a small country. Friends described her as charming, witty and brilliant.

She is survived by her parents, Steve and Eileen Carlson of San Antonio; her brother, Daniel, of Los Angeles; the family's poodle, Rusty; her impressive DVD on TV collection; and numerous grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

Upon her request, her ashes will be buried underneath the Great Hall of Christ Church in Oxford, England.