Abilene is a black hole, a mysterious place that will suck you in and kill your soul. Oh, and you can never leave. Just like on "Lost."

Oh, friends are so nice. They make it out of Abilene, move to Austin, are surrounded by Whole Foods stores and bicyclers who wear LiveStrong bracelets and think they know everything. At least they have your best interest at heart (and will procrastinate with you while you're both bored at work):

Malinda: let's go to the martini bar when I come in town
me: it's only open on Thursdays
:-/
sorry
Malinda: only thursdays?
me: yep
Malinda: that's gay
stupid abilene
i ate that town
HATE
not ate
sheesh
me: haha
i like that it's only open thursdays. they have events there on the weekends
Malinda: i think it's stupid
it'll probably close down in a few months
me: haha
or not
Malinda: only trashy joints make it in abilene
me: last time i went, they had like 250 ppl there, up from 75 the week before. we'll see
you just don't like abilene
don't hate on the warehouse
Malinda: i don't like abilene
and I don't like that you're starting to give in
you have to get you out
STAT
me: i know, i know
Malinda: it's going to take you over
and then you'll be growing old in abilene
at christian village
"neighbors to ACU"
and you'll drive slow
and get mad at liberals
me: is that my future? will i at least be married?
Malinda: nope
and you'll be angry
me: when will this happen? if i don't get out of abilene by a certain time?
Malinda: in the next year
time is of the essence
me: well, that was a nice glimpse into my future
i think i'll put that on my blog
Malinda: and you'll still be writing on your blog
and you'll be the old crazy woman who writes into the optimist
condemning them to hell
for their liberal/unchristian views
me: does abilene warp people's minds?
Malinda: yes
makes you see things
like LOST
watch out for the monster of black smoke
me: am i going to see a horse in the jungle?
Malinda: still the weirdest thing ever
maybe your missing son
all wet
pointing at you
or your dead brother
and then you'll die
me: aw
Malinda: and everybody will think you're crazy
me: so what's the game plan for getting me out of here?
Malinda: did i get you scared?
me: was that the goal?
Malinda: of course
me: well, i have a feeling most of that won't happen, but yes: i need to get the hell out of here