Blame Canada

In case you were wondering how demented my brother and I actually are (you probably weren't, but oh well), here is an excerpt from a recent AIM conversation we had. For background, he was talking about reviewing Memoirs of a Geisha and how many are upset that Chinese actors were cast in Japanese roles. This had us talking about actors of different nationalities acting as Americans.

Daniel: i mean, casting a white guy as a mexican is just stupid, like in Touch of Evil. but casting a latin actor to play latin is deemed ok. and canadians play americans all the time, those sneaky bastards. like alan thicke and michael j. fox
Me: mike meyers
Me: tricky
Daniel: yeah
Daniel: they slip right in
Me: it's crazy
Daniel: we should exterminate them
Daniel: or put them in camps
Daniel: or something
Me: why that border isn't protected more is beyond me
Daniel: totally
Daniel: it's so long. too long to be unguarded
Daniel: dangerous
Me: i agree
Me: they just come on over as if they'd been invited
Daniel: elk or whatnot could just roam on down
Daniel: seriously. something should be done
Me: hmmm
Me: we need a plan
Daniel: we should just invade canada. turn it into a ski resort
Me: haha
Me: have you noticed how high up alaska is? they're practically canadian. we should kick them out of the union
Daniel: they're too close to russia. those commie bastards. acting like they're american. then why do your islands stretch like a chain to soviet land, huh? why?
Me: let's get rid of them
Daniel: with nuclear fire
Me: sounds like a plan
Me: blame canada
Daniel: you know bush would do it. he hasn't bombed anything in like 3 months. dude's got a build-up he needs to unleash
Me: if only we were his advisors
Daniel: we could be
Daniel: easily
Me: we could whisper our canada extermination plan into his ear
Me: it's true
Me: we'd have to pretend that we voted for him
Daniel: hmm. then no
Me: exactly
Me: i'll only go so far
Me: i don't really want to put my soul in jeopardy
Daniel: kill puppies? yes. but say i voted for bush? no way
Me: i'd rather be tortured
Daniel: luckily, we have the facilities for that
Me: thanks, cheney
Daniel: seriously, this whole place is messed up
Me: but not as messed up as Canada...those bastards. stop saying 'eh' after everything.
Daniel: and hockey? HOCKEY? no one likes hockey
Daniel: lame ice sport
Daniel: lame
Me: the maple leaf is a dumb flag
Me: sure doesn't beat the stars and stripes
Daniel: tell me about it. a symbol for syrup vs. the bold colors of righteous freedom? eat it, canada
Me: what the crap is up with mounties? your border? like we'd want to cross it. it's the canadians who are the invaders. our country is awesome enough as it is.
Daniel: you're not fooling anyone with your free health care and low crime, either, canada. we know it sucks up there
Me: south park got it right in their depiction of canadians. not really worth drawing.
Daniel: their little heads bouncing around
Daniel: and bryan adams...
Daniel: shame on you, canada
Me: "Let's make it all for one and all for love?" I still haven't gotten over that.
Daniel: i mean, it's a nice sentiment and all, but i don't know how you got sting to be involved with your scarred canadian mug. and what's up with that robin hood song? you made him sound like a wuss
Daniel: you're the wuss, bri
Me: truer words were never spoken.